We Are Not "Moral Achievers"

It could just be a failing of American culture, but I see it plenty in other cultures I encounter, too. We, individually, have a need to demonstrate our worth, our worthiness, by doing what is necessary to prove to ourselves and others that we are "moral" and that we are "achievers." Put more simply, much of what we choose to do with our energy is aimed at proving that we are good, and we do that by trying to show that we are better than other people. Better morally. Better in what we have been able to achieve.

This is what allows rich people to look down on middle class people, and the middle class to look down on the poor. This is what allows someone who goes to church to look down on someone who does not, voters to look down on non-voters, followers of certain fad diets to look down on everyone else, "high achievers" in any field to look down on the rest of their colleagues.

Whatever we are doing, we frame it for ourselves as a moral achievement. We do this to soothe any suspicion that we might not be good enough. (There is no need.) We use it to prove to ourselves or anyone who is looking (at our Facebook feed), that we are somehow better than "others," therefore we are good. Yet it is never quite satisfying to do this. We feel the need to keep on doing it, hoping eventually to demonstrate once and for all that we are worthy.

The way out of this dissatisfaction and perpetual insecurity is to learn to accept that we are already worthy and have nothing we must prove to demonstrate this.

When we can accept this, we are also freed from the tyranny of constantly comparing ourselves to others. We no longer need to be better than them. We no longer need them to fail for us to feel successful. We no longer see them as some "other" who must be avoided, or even shunned, in order for us to keep our "moral achiever" status. We can recognize, without fear, our own failings as well as the failings of others. We can accept ourselves, and everyone else, as imperfect, but still absolutely worthy of love. We no longer need to feel superior to, and therefore separate from, other people. We can love everyone without needing them to be perfect. We can live without insecurity. We can live without our worth being dependent on looking down on someone else. We can have empathy for others who also are still learning, who also still navigate this life imperfectly.

We can live freely, as though a great weight has been lifted from our shoulders. We can love freely, knowing that love is always available for free and in infinite supply, without anyone having to do anything to be worthy of receiving it.